My girls are such creative thinkers. You just never know what their beautiful amazing minds will produce next. In fact, they recently came up with a new phrase for sharing their most heart-felt, intense feelings for each other. Struggling to keep it within age-appropriate boundaries, they somewhat successfully established a new pre-war response for those special moments, the ones that are indeed indicative of a pending battle…. “You’re a pain in my ask!”

With sadness I must share that they really don’t care for each other on occasion. Actually, they despise each other a good bit of the time, and during those times, the commentary can be quite sharp and rather cutting. I don’t know about your kids, but mine find ways to hurl the most sarcastic, brutal and insanely mean insults at each other on a fairly frequent basis.

Service with a Smirk

I understand the origin of the sarcasm (with great regret I must add).  In full transparency, there wasn’t a snoball’s (NOLA spelling) chance in #$!! that either could or would grow up in this household and not reap the benefits of socialized sarcasm. Interestingly, or not, my psychoanalyst once told me that sarcasm is a form of anger. If you dig deep enough…you’ll see it. So don’t dig. Just call it humor with an edge for now.

While sarcasm surrounds the predominance of that which leaves their mouths, they can actually be quite entertaining without its use. Truly, you just never know what words of wisdom, humor or oddness might exit at any moment. Feeling a sense of community and sharing right now, let me introduce you to more than just “You’re a pain in my ask!” Feel free to suggest the author in the comment section  – this could be fun.

1. With eyes pointed like daggers at her sister she says “(Insert Name) always gets what (Insert Same Name) wants.” (apparently this daughter and “Jimmy” are one with the 3rd)______________
2. Part 1 “(Insert Name) those are my cookies. I paid for those with my own money!”______________
3. Part 2 “…and I’m eating it with my own mouth” (all food in our household is fair game unless branded with a Sharpie)______________
4. “Karma is a (by eye contact only, knowing her limits). I love her, except when she happens to me.”______________
5. “mom u cant luse something u dont have haha jk” (comment back to me on Facebook re: loss of coolness)______________
6. Part 1 “Mom, post this picture. Come on. And put one of your clever comments.” (which I did post of her dressed in my
   

   Mocking her mother …Bluetooth and all

   clothes with Bluetooth on ear) ______________

7. Part 2 “I’m so hot and professional at the same time. I’m the whole package.” (self-adoring comment made below the picture)______________
8. “Who sings this song?” (the other sister answers) “Well let’s let them sing it.”______________
9. “I am mad at her. Therefore I will be mean.”______________
10. “I’m not obsessed. I’m dedicated and there’s a difference Mother!” (in reference to 1 Direction)______________
11. “Is that a date?” (mom about the dried fruit on the cheese plate) “Yes.” (confirmed by grandmother)  “That’s something (Insert Name) never has.”______________

With that I’ll close with a note from my senior memory book written to me in 1983 by one of my teachers .

Kerrie,                                                                                                                                                                                                 Best wishes to one always there, whose smile bubbled with cynicism and humor. Remember to let humor stay with you even in the trying times. With this, you will go on. Take care. My special concern goes with you. J.Crxxxxx                                                                                                                                                                                           (Just watch those “comments”. They can cut.)

Goodnight everyone. Don’t forget to tip your waiters and waitresses.